hmpf

Do you like Farscape? Let yourself be counted: sign up at the Frell Me Dead forums at www.savefarscape.com. (Follow the link that says 'community'.) The goal is to have 5000 members by the anniversary of the cancellation (September 6). The current number of registered members is 4,714. It's a nice way to show the networks out there that there are people out here who want to watch FS. It doesn't come with any responsibilities, although we would of course be more than happy to have you post regularly. But you don't have to. If you just register to be counted, that's fine, too. So, head over to www.savefarscape.com and be counted!

Okay, on to the second day...

Well, we got up sometime between 8 a.m. and 10 a.m. (meaning, some of us got up at 8, and the rest got up one by one between 8 and 10 a.m., since there was only one bathroom, anyway. We had a very basic breakfast and then made our way to the con. I was supposed to meet with Mark there at 11 a.m. but he arrived a little late. I passed the time before his arrival standing around in the lobby with Christian, wondering if we were ever going to see a simple con guest - for some reason, everyone we saw seemed to be either an organiser, a helper or someone giving a talk or a presentation. We were really relieved when we finally spotted a guest! Christian seemed to know everybody, btw... and I had a very brief opportunity to meet Claudia Kern, sf serial author and genre journalist, and apparently also a scaper. She seemed nice, but mysteriously missed my talk later that day, although she reportedly had wanted to hear it.

When Mark finally arrived we asked one of the organisers for a room and took our equipment - which Mark had brought - there for a general check-up. Mark, whose claims to fame include the organisation and hosting of our semi-annual mailing list meetings #3 and #5 (http://fstreffen.allabouthmpf.com), had brought a notebook, a video beamer, and the 150 or so flyers Dashan and Christian had produced. (Have I recently mentioned how much I love you guys? Consider yourselves hugged. All three of you.)

Well, the equipment and the video clips I had selected worked just fine together, and after that had been ascertained, I once again tested my presentation in front of a scaper audience, this time consisting of Christian and Mark. Christian told me I had improved a little bit, but I'm not sure if I should believe that... ;-)

Oh, and for those who are curious which clips I was going to show:

- Tazey's fabulous fan vid 'Right Here, Right Now', for which I should have sent feedback ages ago 'cause it's so great!
- a clip from 'We're So Screwed 2: Hot To Katratzi' - the 'American' scene
- one of the CNN clips
- one of our latest batch of commercials
- the 'morale booster' video by Tiriel and co.

At 14:00 Christian left for his own presentation, and Mark and I joined his audience a little while later, after I'd grabbed a banana for lunch. Christian talked about a somewhat 'exotic' subject, the Masters of the Universe cartoon series from the eighties, and the audience was... well, not exactly huge. This had me worried a bit, as I had no idea how popular or unpopular Farscape is in German sf fandom. I half expected only a handful of people would turn up for my talk... After all, the show disappeared from German TV about a year and a half ago. I wasn't sure many would remember it, especially considering that it had been run late night on Sunday. Not the best slot for gaining new viewers, methinks.

At 15:00 Christian and I changed places, me taking his place at the presenter's table, and him joining the audience. At first, there wasn't much of a crowd, but as Mark was preparing the equipment, people started arriving, one by one... and soon I had a good crowd there (some 20 or so people), and began to get seriously nervous. Of course, I handed a flyer to everyone who entered the room!

Well, and then Mark was ready and I sat down at my table with my five pages of text and some rather pronounced 'rattlers in my stomach'. I apologised in advance for being nervous and for reading too fast, and in the following twenty minutes was very glad to find the audience very gracious. I started by stating the importance of Farscape for the genre at large, then spoke about the 'end' of the show, and then launched into an explanation of Farscape's greatness... though I almost decided to skip that part of the presentation as it turned out that most of my audience actually already knew Farscape (so, I probably didn't make many potential new fans... ah well, can't have everything, I guess). After my praise of the show followed a summary of the history and achievements of the Save Farscape campaign.

Of course, I was too fast again. However, the audience was very gracious and kind, and seemed to take into account that I was doing this for the very first time... After having delivered my talk I replied to questions about the cancellation and the campaign, and encouraged everybody to take part (of course!).

Well, and then it was over, or almost... 'cause some people from the audience stayed to talk to me and give me flyers of their own - among them some SeaQuest fans, whom I guess we scapers should consider as something akin to family, since their show was also created by Rockne and DK and cancelled prematurely... Rockne really has rotten luck with networks, it would seem!

Roger Murmann who has a monthly sf program on a local radio station also stayed to talk to me, or rather, to interview me, and Christian as well. Christian went first, and then it was my turn. Once again, I was dreadfully nervous, but Roger was quite good at asking the right questions, so I got to repeat the main points of my talk very neatly for his show... Unfortunately the interview will be aired quite close to where I live, so there's a certain danger of people who actually know me hearing it! I hope I didn't come over too incoherent! ;-)

When the interviews were over the con was almost over, as well, but I had a nice bit of talk with a guy whose name I didn't catch yet, who had actually been convinced to give Farscape a try - should he ever get an opportunity to see it - by the clip from 'We're So Screwed...' (and hopefully also a bit by my talk!!! *g*) So, I may have made at least one potential new viewer. We'll see.

And that was that, more or less. There wasn't much left to do except tell people farewell, and exchange some addresses... Mark was so kind as to take me at least part of the way to Frankfurt, so my train ticket would be a bit cheaper, and after some complications (travelling with two backpacks with a weight of over 20 kilos *always* means complications!) I arrived in Frankfurt at 23:00, very exhausted indeed, but also still on a convention high. Of course, this was followed by the post-con depression the next day... but that is another story... ;-)

Another thing worth noting. I watched 4.22 the day before yesterday. The end, as in 'The' End. Though of course we know it isn't the end, and it ended with a 'To Be Continued', as it should, although the impression of open-endedness was disturbed a bit by Ben's voice-over: 'and *finally* on Farscape'. (At which I started crying, btw, thus making Bad Timing the first FS ep ever which reduced me to tears even at the very beginning.)

I don't want to write about it, really. I don't want to think about it. The ending is Farscape, perfectly, maddeningly Farscape, and I suspect that as a season ending it would have delighted me. As the end of the series it feels far too final for comfort, though. Final, and ultimately very absurd, which is, of course, more fitting than an ending with a sense of fulfilled purpose could ever have been. It left me feeling empty. Drained. And that's all I want to write about it, at the moment, and maybe ever. Except this:

Chiana: When will you give up?
John: I won't.
Chiana: You have to give up sometime.
John: No, I don't.

And:

"It's not what you know. It's what you hope for."

And:

"Hope, D'Argo. It's what keeps you going. You're gonna see you're son. I'm gonna go home. Hope. I got hope, or I got nothing."



Don't worry. I'm not going to give up. I just sent a bra to Bonnie Hammer.

*eg*

The most important thing first. (This is *my* journal, so -- *my* priorities. Even if they make sense to no one but me and the 2,559 posters on Frell Me Dead.) The most important thing is this: I'm depressed. Not too severely, but nevertheless. Watched 'We're So Screwed pt.1: Fetal Attraction' yesterday with Kadira (gotta love those ep titles), and it's a frelling fantastic ep. Damn, I love this show. And I can't help myself, I just love it when John goes totally badass. Love it in a sick way, because somehow it's all *wrong* for him to be that way, and yet... he's only survived because he's discovered he can be as tough as they come, so how wrong can it be? He had no choice with all the dren the universe (or, more precisely, sadistic script writers) kept throwing at him but to learn how to kick butt. And part of the sick thrill of watching John kick butt is that nagging memory at the back of my mind of the soft, naive, friendly and innocent John of season one. The discrepancy between the two is so incredible, and yet has been growing so slowly and believably. Which is precisely why I love the writers, actors, etc. of Farscape. I've never seen better character development on TV than on this show.

And then there's Aeryn. For once not rescuing John but being rescued by him. A distressingly weak Aeryn. For some reason this ep's torture scenes, short as they were, had a more profoundly distressing effect on me than the whole of 'Prayer' had. Don't know what was wrong with that, but somehow 'Prayer' didn't get to me as it should have. Well, but 'Fetal Attraction' did, oh yes. Especially the hallucinations in the beginning. Very, very painful.
The fandom is pretty divided over Aeryn at the moment, it seems. I don't read many blogs or forums, but a friend supplies me occasionally with stuff she considers worthwhile... Well, most people seem to agree that This Is Not Our Aeryn Anymore. Some take this quite literally, suggesting that the bioloid might have been on board Moya a lot longer than just since BHTB. Some just say it's inconsistent writing. Well, I dunno. I'm reasonably sure that, at least physically, it *is* our Aeryn all right. And all the strange changes in her behaviour I still tend to explain by reference to her months-long absence from Moya at the beginning of the season. We still don't know what happened there - and chances are we won't, not for a long time, anyway.

Other notes: obviously, I need to watch the ep again (and again and again and again and again... you know how it is), but a few things that struck me:

- Noranti and Rygel: very touching scene, between these two unlikely charactes. Only Farscape could have a truly touching scene between a two foot high greenish-grey (and peeling!) Muppet and a shriveled old woman with three eyes and monstrous ears. Incredible.

- D'Argo and Chiana: okay, I'm not a shipper, not by a long shot, but can I just go 'wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!' here for a moment???

- D'Argo has grown on me a *lot*. Also, he seems to be seriously growing up.

- Chiana never needed to grow on me, loved her from the beginning.

- Sikozu's people. Great, understated culture building there. Just a few hints here and there...

- Colour direction. Every FS ep seems to have its own colour. This one was sort of a brownish red.

- John/Aeryn shippiness: Let me repeat it: I am *not* a shipper. But seeing John sitting on the floor besides Aeryn's bed, sleeping, exhausted, leaning his head against the bed, and her stroking him ever so gently...... -- *melts*

- But my joy at the intensity of that moment is nothing compared to my happiness about the return of Harvey. Hezmana, I'm evil. I'm actually *happy* to see yet another stress factor resurface in John's already not exactly easy life! *g* But it's hard not to enjoy the interaction between the two, and the weird forms their enounters take on -- 'I am the undead!' *snort*.
And, frell, it's hard not to be fascinated by John's ongoing struggle with madness. I'm not sure I want to know what that says about me, but... there it is. Everybody who knows me a bit knows that I was frustrated when they seemed to remove the Harvey problem so easily in 'Promises'. Felt like a cop-out to me. I'm glad it turned out to be just a ruse.

I still can't believe that, if Skiffy have their way, there's only three more eps to go, and all those intriguing plot lines will be left dangling. Frell you, Skiffy. (Sorry, needed that.)

*****

All right, change of topic. The second most important thing in my life at the moment is of course the Spanish course. I've sort of caught up with the rest of the class now, and am feeling pretty good. I have to take care not to develop a crush for my teacher, though. He's kind of... hmmmm. Cute? Not really, but I like him. ´s far as I know him, which is not very far.

Which reminds me I should write a bit faster, 'cause I still have my 'deberes' to do.

*****

Okay. Next topic. Miles Vorkosigan. The other man in my life right now, courtesy of Lois McMaster Bujold. (LOL.) I don't feel like going into details here and now, as it's not yet an obsession, but I must say, the books are fun. Great fun. I'm not much for military SF, usually, but this series is interesting because of its characters and a nicely ironic touch, and the hero is such an unusual character that he's really almost the antithesis of the typical hero. But why the frell do strong women always have to have red hair??? ;-)

*****

Birmingham update: Told the foreign students' office that I would like to go there this autumn, and got a very encouraging reply that basically said that usually, once you're there, funds can be found to make a second semester possible. So, there's definitely hope for a whole year yet. :-)

*****

And finally, it looks like I will be doing some kind of presentation at this year's DortCon, in about three and a half weeks. It requires me to go directly to Dortmund from Barcelona, to speak to a probably tiny audience, but hey, the things I'm doing for Farscape...
You ask why I'm doing this? Well, same answer as the nasty answer from Aeryn's goddess: because I can. - And because it's important to me that the fandom survives and spreads, as much as possible, under these difficult conditions, because I still believe that fandom can be an important power in making a future for the show possible. So, it's simple, really. I think something needs to be done; I feel like I can do it, and that probably no one will do it if I don't do it myself, and hence, I do it. And that's that.)

Okay, and now off to my homeworks and then to bed.

Oh boy. What a year. And it's only one and a half months old, too!

It's kinda depressing but I only seem to be able to consistently update my journal when I'm on holiday. The semester has been busy, a fact that was exacerbated by the SaveFarscape campaign which ate up most of my net time. I started 2003 with a massive backlog of things I should have done months ago, and resolved I would have to do something about it or it would crush me. So I decided to finally write my paper on Farscape and its construction as art that I had meant to write last September when the cancellation news frelled up my planning, and I decided to stay away from the net until it was done. Well, and as soon as that was done, I had to get my application for the ERASMUS program ready, i.e. write several CVs and a detailed explanation of my motivation for wanting to spend a year in Britain. And as soon as that was done, I started to organise a stay in Barcelona to learn Spanish, and I'm leaving for that on Saturday. Oh, and I was sick for a while, too. Besides all this I started rebuilding my website (finally!!!), building a website for the German Farscape mailing list, and tried to be somewhat active on the list, too. Oh, and I got a job at uni, too.

So, you can see why I haven't been updating much. ;-)

My website's still far from finished, and I've neglected my e-mail for months, and Clan MacSlow even longer, and I haven't made any jewellery since before Christmas. Still, I've gotten a lot of stuff done, although there always seems to be something else that lurks reproachfully in the background.

So... this is basically just to say that I'm still alive and well and active both in Real Life and in fandom. And to those few whose weblogs I usually read - Kadira, Tehtah, Sherry, and occasionally Black Widow and Dark Poet, clansibs of old - I'm sorry I haven't been able to read much in the past six weeks. (Though I doubt that many of you are reading this, either.)

In case someone here has stalker-y habits ;-) you may know that I've actually been quite active on the Frell Me Dead boards, and you might conclude from this that I simply do not care enough about this journal - or the journals of my friends, for that matter - to keep up. That is not true. It is just a matter of priorities, and since I consider it a sort of duty to help keep the Frell Me Dead forums active and contribute my ideas to the campaign, that has had top priority for a while now. I hope that my livejournal and my friends will be able to bear my sort-of-absence for a while. I will be back. In fact, I'm not really gone - just arranging my life in intervals. There's times when I'm more active here, and times when I'm less active. Simple as that.

Well. Until I post my next entry, you can bid on a comm badge made by me -

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2160231589

- or read my latest published fanfic:

http://users.boardnation.com/~scapeartist/index.php?board=4;action=display;threadid=2875

(copied from my notebook, into which I scribbled this during FilkContinental this weekend.)

But first, a few words about the fun to be found in getting rained on and laughed at in the city of Cologne.

(I probably should have written something about last week's FS-Weekend, but I'll leave that for another time.)

We were more than we expected. I would have expected 6, maybe 10 of us. In the end, there were 16, including a family four heads strong from Berlin, and three very unexpected Scapers in black leather coats and Save Farscape t-shirts. There was a slight misunderstanding as to the size and nature of our event. All parties involved were highly amused as a result to this - both our tiny bunch of protesters, and the two policemen sent to... well, to do what exactly?

We spent a few hours standing in the rain handing out flyers - designed by me - to the passersby. Some special mentions:

- The lederhosen guy.

Nager: "Do you like SF?'
Lederhosen Guy: "I have my lederhosen, that's enough."

Yeah, I can totally see that logic. He was nice about it, though, not unfriendly.

(Note to our international friends: Usually, most Germans do not wear lederhosen outside of Bavaria. I don't know what the guy was doing wearing them in Cologne.)

- The guy who simply turned and *ran* away when Nager tried to explain Farscape to him.

Nager: "I think I'm going to cry now."

Honourable mention for extreme coolness: Hurrie's mom and little sister and brother who increased our numbers by an unexpected 3.

The whole crazy event was unexpectedly fun, despite the terrible weather and the strange gazes. We knew from the outset that the rally was pretty useless, and was merely a show of support for our fighting Scapers in the US. As such, it was well-documented by dozens of photos and we'll soon put up a website with pics of the rally and the previous weekend.

***

All right, back to the con thoughts. Right now I am sitting in the outer reaches of a filk circle, harmonious soft voices and guitar chords wash over me. I know no one here, and I am neither a filker nor a musician of any kind. Still, I belong, more or less. Although there are no Scapers here, these people look at me with understanding when I display signs of emotinonal distress at the dying (I'm not yet willing to proclaim it entirely dead) of Farscape. When I apologise, they tell me it's okay, because 'where else can you talk about a thing like that if not on a filk con?' They understand obsessions with stories and universes, I reckon.

The songs are doing strange things to me. Although there doesn't seem to be a single FS filk in existence this side of the Atlantic, and precious few filkers who even know the show or have had the patience to follow it through Sat1's scheduling escapades, somehow each sad song, and most of them were sad, all dripping with that special kind of pathos that only SF and fantasy can provide, well, as I said, every song seemed to connect to FS for me, and I had to fight not to break into tears several times.

Frell, Kemper, you hooked me good.

***

They're still singing. The music sounds like simple folk. You have to listen to the lyrics to understand it's really something different. Listening to the music, I remember Nager explaining to the reporter from SF-Radio that 'we are all freaks' - as if he felt a special need to make sure there would be absolutely no mistake about that. Not that there was much danger of anyone missing that fact...

***

I need to interrupt these musings for a short announcement of pain. It's been four weeks now since FS's cancellation, and the pain. just. won't. go. away.

***

On a more positive note. These past four weeks, the FS community has been very close, and I have probably not been the only one who's been overwhelmed with love for at least their most immediate co-Scapers. I had incredibly warm fuzzy feelings for everybody today, and I know they were reciprocated at least by Claudia, who professed to not being able to imagine her life without us anymore.

****

(Written on Saturday, 5th of October 2002)

Real Life: went to uni today to find some info about British universities where I might spend my year abroad. Looks like Birmingham is the closest match for what I want. Actually, I wanted Cardiff, but they only have one of my subjects there...

Real Life/Net life: been preparing the Farscape weekend with Claudia and Antje by doing some big time shopping! (Gotta provide four meals for over 30 people. You get the idea.) When we were done, Nager from Scififorum.de called us - he was on the road somewhere between Wiesbaden and Frankfurt - and after some confusion we decided to have him come to Claudia's place, and had Kai come over, too, and we all had pizza together. Very nice. Looking forward to meeting everybody (lots of new people around this time!!!) tomorrow...

Oh, hey, and I painted myself blue today! Well, only in part, but it was still a really amazing experience. A totally different feeling - like my body was suddenly not quite my body anymore. I now understand what Virginia Hey described in that interview, about looking at her hands and going 'Oh my god, I'm blue!'

Claudia and Antje were impressed, and Claudia is looking forward to being painted blue now, too. Hehe.

I also finished her ten silver rings that will make the Zhaan costume perfect. We'll pose as a sort of twinned Zhaan for a picture that will hopefully demonstrate to our American friends in the campaign that we're with them, even if we can't do much over here. And no, we will *not* shave our heads. We'll go for season three Zhaan, with the headscarf. ;-)

So, other than that, what's new? Not much, except maybe that Dork Tower just did Farscape again:

http://www.gamespy.com/comics/dorktower/archive.asp?nextform=viewcomic&id=653

Have to go to bed now, read a bit about 'The Cultural Criticism of Randolph Bourne, Van Wyck Brooks, Waldo Frank, and Lewis Mumford'.

I might just as well do another Farscape update. It's about time, anyway.

Nothing really new, but this might interest some: David Kemper was on radio a few days ago, and he was a lot more positive than in the chat. You can read a transcript here: http://farscape.wdsection.com/news/article.php?newsid=73

In the 'things that make you go 'huh?''- department:

DK: "I'm in touch with Brannon Braga all the time."

Brannon Braga? As in 'Brannon the antithesis of intelligent SF Braga'? I can't quite wrap my mind around the concept of DK being in touch with Braga...

Anyway, that was followed by this:

>>If I was a fan I'd start calling UPN and say "gee, wouldn't Farscape go great after Enterprise?"<<

Also very much worth a look is this: an ex-Scifi-Channel employee explains why we're doing this:

http://farscape.wdsection.com/news/article.php?newsid=71

And the most important bit of news: the Save Farscape long-term strategy:

http://farscape.wdsection.com/news/article.php?newsid=78

Everyone go there and read! It's a great plan!

Hero for the day: Identchip from the skiffy (Scifi) chat, who went into his local Blockbuster video rental store and offered a woman to pay her bill if she rented the Farscape Best of Season 1 box. The woman did rent the box, but wouldn't accept Identchip's offer. Another guy who had listened to the exchange also went and got the season one box. Way to make a scaper! Or even two. ;-)

Oh, and DK will be back on the radio this Friday, on Interstellar Transmissions:

http://farscape.wdsection.com/news/article.php?newsid=79

Lastly, a message to everyone who might be about to give up. Do not stop writing letters etc. now! We haven't lost yet! If you don't know who to target, I suggest UPN (there's some partly substantiated rumours that UPN truly is interested) - contact info at http://farscape.wdsection.com. You should also write to the Scifi Channel and ask them to use the recent media coverage and rerun FS seasons one through three now. Farscape is fairly 'high profile' right now, and rerunning it now would be a really good idea! It would also allow new viewers to get into the show before January. We need great ratings in January!

http://www.wdsection.com/community/showthread.php?s=&threadid=3378

Third post down.

The bad news is this: Ben Browder just confirmed on CNN Headline news that Scifi will definitely not produce a fifth season of Farscape.

The good news is this:

>> Just talked to whoever the operator is at UPN, and she said she had been hearing a lot of buzz about UPN seriously considering the show, and that she has just been totally inundated with calls, especially right...well... now. Hey, I'll hold on to anything at this point<<

(from: http://www.wdsection.com/community/showthread.php?s=8c7fb204f42884978d2692ae6c26fe50&threadid=3181 )

So, everyone, write to UPN! Oh, and writing to Showtime can't hurt, either.

Here's the contact info:

UPN
Todd Lituchy (Sr VP, Sched & Aquisitions)
Danielle Greene (Alternative Development, Current programming)

United Paramount Network
11800 Wilshire Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90025
Phone: 310-575-7000
fax: 310 575 7210
E-mail: feedback@upn.com

SHOWTIME
Mathew Duda (VP, aquisitions and planning)
Gary Levine (VP., Original programming)

Showtime Networks
10880 Wilshire Blvd. Stes. 1500 & 1600
Los Angeles, CA 90024
phone 310-234-5200
fax: 310-234-5393

and on the East Coast

Frank Pintauro (Sr VP, Creative Director, Original Programming)
Showtime Networks
1633 Broadway
New York, NY 10019
phone: 212-708-1600
Fax: 212-708-1217

Also in the good news department: We will have an ad in the Hollywood Reporter. They gave us a free upgrade to a full page!!!! Said they were 'glad to help'!!!! Here's the text:
http://benbrowder.net/pssst.htm

If you want to donate a bit for that ad and similar efforts, you can do so at http://benbrowder.net - I wish I could, but I don't have a credit card, so paypal is not my friend. :-(

That's it for today. I have to go to bed, it's almost 4:00 a.m. again...

Scape diem! ;-)