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Oh, university...
May. 3rd, 2007 01:41 amyou're making it hard to keep up my enthusiasm for you.
*sigh*
There are fifteen seminars being offered this semester in American studies.
Five of them take place on Tuesday between four and six p.m.
These also happen to be the only ones that are 1.) interesting, 2.) fit into my plans of what I want to do in my last couple of terms of uni (and possibly in my thesis), 3.) didn't require signing up months in advance, and 4.) that I haven't already taken earlier.
So, I can only take *one* interesting seminar this term. Which means I need to fill the rest of my required classes with a) stuff that bores me to death (19th century stuff; the rise of unitarianism; art criticism; objectivism in American poetry) or b) stuff I've already done.
This is not only annoying because I'll be forced to waste time I could have spent learning something interesting learning about stuff I'm not interested in instead; it's also highly inconvenient because I'm still not sure what I'm going to write my thesis about, and was hoping that some seminar would give me an idea. Seminars on objectivism in poetry are unlikely to do that, as I'm interested neither in objectivism nor in poetry. Nor am I willing to write my thesis about the 19th century, one of my least favourite periods in history, and art criticism isn't something I can see myself getting interested in, either. American religions, on the other hand *are* kind of interesting, but that particular seminar is the third in a series, and I didn't take the first two, so I'd be missing the foundations.
They probably put all the interesting seminars on the same day and time because they guessed that those would be the most popular, and they wanted to force students to take only one of the interesting/popular ones and then take some of the boring/redundant/ridiculously-specialised-in-areas-few-people-care-about ones, too.
Gotta love German universities.
*sigh*
There are fifteen seminars being offered this semester in American studies.
Five of them take place on Tuesday between four and six p.m.
These also happen to be the only ones that are 1.) interesting, 2.) fit into my plans of what I want to do in my last couple of terms of uni (and possibly in my thesis), 3.) didn't require signing up months in advance, and 4.) that I haven't already taken earlier.
So, I can only take *one* interesting seminar this term. Which means I need to fill the rest of my required classes with a) stuff that bores me to death (19th century stuff; the rise of unitarianism; art criticism; objectivism in American poetry) or b) stuff I've already done.
This is not only annoying because I'll be forced to waste time I could have spent learning something interesting learning about stuff I'm not interested in instead; it's also highly inconvenient because I'm still not sure what I'm going to write my thesis about, and was hoping that some seminar would give me an idea. Seminars on objectivism in poetry are unlikely to do that, as I'm interested neither in objectivism nor in poetry. Nor am I willing to write my thesis about the 19th century, one of my least favourite periods in history, and art criticism isn't something I can see myself getting interested in, either. American religions, on the other hand *are* kind of interesting, but that particular seminar is the third in a series, and I didn't take the first two, so I'd be missing the foundations.
They probably put all the interesting seminars on the same day and time because they guessed that those would be the most popular, and they wanted to force students to take only one of the interesting/popular ones and then take some of the boring/redundant/ridiculously-specialised-in-areas-few-people-care-about ones, too.
Gotta love German universities.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g32HRs1NJUU
Clearly I had one of the most obvious and unoriginal ideas ever, there.
(Or is that actually the same vid I posted about a while ago? I wouldn't know, as I didn't dare watch the vid at the time.)
ETA: It seems to be the same vid. I'm relieved.
Clearly I had one of the most obvious and unoriginal ideas ever, there.
(Or is that actually the same vid I posted about a while ago? I wouldn't know, as I didn't dare watch the vid at the time.)
ETA: It seems to be the same vid. I'm relieved.
I just looked through all my old paintings and drawings, my materials - watercolours, ink, brushes, pens, my books about medieval art... It's a hobby I gave up nearly ten years ago.
God, I was *good*! I'd forgotten.
I should just divide my life up equally between writing, jewellery making and painting. Who needs uni or a job?
Right. Anyone wanna sponsor me?
*sigh*
Gonna get some of this stuff scanned sometime, to put it up on my website. A monument to the Hmpf that could have been.
***
Thing is... I'm actually good enough, probably, to do some of these things on at *least* a semi-professional level (well, I'm officially a professional jeweller, but I'm so out of practice it's almost not true anymore). There *are* people who are making a living from this kind of stuff who aren't any better at it than I am. I just *know* a bit about what it means to make a living like this, and so I know it requires *massive* amounts of work and still only results in a very precarious living, unless you're exceptionally lucky. And I'm just too afraid to make the leap. To take that kind of chance.
I suppose I can still do this if I don't find a job after uni.
(Hmpf: Planning a life to fail. And I'd probably be happy about it, on some level. No hindrances anymore to that coveted bohemian lifestyle once you've thoroughly failed in 'normal' society...)
God, I was *good*! I'd forgotten.
I should just divide my life up equally between writing, jewellery making and painting. Who needs uni or a job?
Right. Anyone wanna sponsor me?
*sigh*
Gonna get some of this stuff scanned sometime, to put it up on my website. A monument to the Hmpf that could have been.
***
Thing is... I'm actually good enough, probably, to do some of these things on at *least* a semi-professional level (well, I'm officially a professional jeweller, but I'm so out of practice it's almost not true anymore). There *are* people who are making a living from this kind of stuff who aren't any better at it than I am. I just *know* a bit about what it means to make a living like this, and so I know it requires *massive* amounts of work and still only results in a very precarious living, unless you're exceptionally lucky. And I'm just too afraid to make the leap. To take that kind of chance.
I suppose I can still do this if I don't find a job after uni.
(Hmpf: Planning a life to fail. And I'd probably be happy about it, on some level. No hindrances anymore to that coveted bohemian lifestyle once you've thoroughly failed in 'normal' society...)
Few things are more frustrating than...
Jul. 8th, 2003 05:03 pmdesperately wanting to write and lacking the time for it.
What's even more frustrating is to realise how much I suck as a writer. Not that that is a *new* realisation... But how am I supposed to improve if I never find the time to write? Skill comes with practice, and I don't get enough practice.
Then there's the issue of how good could I actually get, as well. Do I have any talent at all, is there anything worth developing, or am I more or less a hopeless case? Most of my stuff isn't exactly crap, but even the stories I sort of like fall short of what I intended. It's kind of hard to lay a finger on the problem in those cases, though; even harder to try and 'do better next time'.
Frell, I need help. Writing help, that is. I think I'm actually aware of some/most of my problems (lack of flow; lack of plot; cliché; failure to capture characters' voices etc.), but it would still help to be able to discuss them with someone, I think. I need a really good beta. But how could I subject anybody to my odd writing rhythm, the month-long droughts or periods where I simply don't have the time, etc.?
Ah, frell.
Edited to add: This is not meant as a knock against my current betas, Verin and Caz. It's just that Verin is apparently very busy in RL, and anyway is not active in my most important writing fandom, Farscape, and Caz isn't my regular beta but simply offered to give my two latest unbeta'd HL stories a quick beta. What I need, though, is someone to discuss my stuff with in detail, and possibly while I'm still writing.
Then again, that may not help, either. I don't know.
What's even more frustrating is to realise how much I suck as a writer. Not that that is a *new* realisation... But how am I supposed to improve if I never find the time to write? Skill comes with practice, and I don't get enough practice.
Then there's the issue of how good could I actually get, as well. Do I have any talent at all, is there anything worth developing, or am I more or less a hopeless case? Most of my stuff isn't exactly crap, but even the stories I sort of like fall short of what I intended. It's kind of hard to lay a finger on the problem in those cases, though; even harder to try and 'do better next time'.
Frell, I need help. Writing help, that is. I think I'm actually aware of some/most of my problems (lack of flow; lack of plot; cliché; failure to capture characters' voices etc.), but it would still help to be able to discuss them with someone, I think. I need a really good beta. But how could I subject anybody to my odd writing rhythm, the month-long droughts or periods where I simply don't have the time, etc.?
Ah, frell.
Edited to add: This is not meant as a knock against my current betas, Verin and Caz. It's just that Verin is apparently very busy in RL, and anyway is not active in my most important writing fandom, Farscape, and Caz isn't my regular beta but simply offered to give my two latest unbeta'd HL stories a quick beta. What I need, though, is someone to discuss my stuff with in detail, and possibly while I'm still writing.
Then again, that may not help, either. I don't know.
