Hmpf sits an exam

[hmpf]

9:00 arrival

9:30 start of exam

9:35 Hmpf stares at exam questions, can't think of a single answer

9:45 Hmpf still can't think of anything

9:50 Hmpf writes down two words. Then stares at her piece of paper some more.

9:55 Hmpf has sudden panic attack; is brought glass of water

10:00 Hmpf feels terribly embarrassed due to breaking out in tears in class

10:05 Hmpf tries to breathe calmly

10:10 Hmpf scribbles down some more notes

10:30 Hmpf starts answering a question

11:15 Hmpf starts answering a second question

12:00 Hmpf decides to forget about the third question although there's still half an hour left, as her mind is completely blank. Hands in her exam book with an embarrassing total of five pages of, mostly, waffling. Then goes to see lecturer to enquire about mark for essay that makes up 50 percent of the final grade, to find out if she may still pass the module even though she probably failed the exam. Is told that yes, maybe. Depends on how badly she failed the exam. Hmpf suggests she failed very badly. Lecturer looks vaguely shocked, then suggests that this is something that 'happens to mature students' - they get out of practice.

---


I feel so stupid. Although of course it really only is a matter of practice. I have simply forgotten how to do this, prepare for an exam. Forgotten how to *study*. I still know it in theory, but for some reason I can't *do* it anymore. I might be able to relearn it, but then, in Germany I won't need it. Not this kind of studying, anyway.

A shame that this was the only one of my exams I really cared about. There's another one on Saturday next week, but that's sort of less important 'cause I probably won't be able to get it accredited in Germany, anyway. This one was the only one that really mattered.

Of course, I knew that. I knew that, and still didn't work efficiently. I knew all along what was going to happen. I've been talking about it for weeks. Although perhaps I didn't really believe it could happen to me. *I* don't fail exams...

I suppose in the light of 'try everything once', it was a valuable experience.

Comments

[bimo.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

If you need someone to talk about panic attacks during written exams and how to get rid of them, please feel free to PM me anytime. I've been struggling with the very same problem for years and have quite a lot of experience when it comes to getting back some control over academic performances in critical situations.

I'm Sorry

[xsabx.livejournal.com]

I don't know you very well, if at all, but I have a sympathetic ear if you want it.

[ailanreanter.livejournal.com]

Aw, poor you... *offers hug*

[just-misguided.livejournal.com]

Oh dear!

I've just sat the most evil exam ever, so I sympathise greatly. It's not the end of the world if you have a bad day though - the trick is to get on with the next one!

Good luck, and try not to get so down - I'm sure it'll be OK

[herdivineshadow]

:/

*hugs*

[jazzymegster.livejournal.com]

*more hugs*

I hate exams. Don't see the point in them as they don't test what you know, they test what you regurgitate. *kicks exam boards everywhere*

[ankae.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

Terrible experience

[(Anonymous)]

I know what that experience felt like. I experienced it too, although only once. During a maths test in school, my head was suddenly completely empty. I couldn't solve any of the questions. It was a very frightening experience, especially since I didn't see it coming and had never experienced something like that before. But, as if a supernatural force wanted to protect my grades, the teacher decided to annul the test, because too many students complained (it was a very difficult test). I think that was a defining moment in my life as a student, the moment when I came to the conclusion that no matter how badly I do in a test, there's always some people who do even worse. I find that a very comforting thought.

MSB

[simplyjaye.livejournal.com]

*hugs* BABE!

I can so empathize at how tough that is. Like Anon above, the same thing happened to me in a Math exam in high school. Total blank on all the questions...and we only had to answer three (very long, multi-part) question out of seven...I couldn't even pick as I could do none of them. Unfortunately, it wasn't anulled.

I've been reading your struggles...and I'm going through something similar with my classes. The two that are ending this week, I should just pass, although I reckon it'll be close on one of them. I'm sitting here doing the final, and nothing on two questions...the other two I've just completely waffled through AND I have the texts with me! Trouble is apathy is setting in, I'm burned out, and I really can't care much whether I pass the classes or not, let alone get a decent grade. I'm on the verge of dropping one class, one I quite like, because I'm so far behind, the midterm's next week and there's no way I'm ready for it. The problem is they're online classes...so it is just way too easy for me to start surfing rather than do actual classwork. Going away for two separate weeks didn't help either.

Btw, I will get around to the BABE board and answering your movie post...I will!

[(Anonymous)]

> I hate exams. Don't see the point in them as they don't test what you
> know, they test what you regurgitate.

I've heard being able to regurgitate crap someone else told you is a very useful ability in many jobs. And isn't school supposed to prepare you for life? ;-)

[dunkle-feuer.livejournal.com]

Damn! This post never showed up on my friendspage!

Belated, but lots of hugs BABE!

I'm sorry to hear that it went so bad. But maybe it went better than you can imagine now? At least you still have that essay, maybe it can get you out of that again.

I wish there was more I could do for you, but I have never been in such a situation (I'm one of the people who become absolutely calm when they sit in front of an exam – after driving everybody near me crazy days before that). But if you want to talk, you know where you can find me. I could even try to install AIM or ICQ again.

*hugs*

Oh, usually I'm like that, as well.

[hmpf.livejournal.com]

This was, well, not quite a first, but almost the first time for me that something like this total panic happened. The last time was certainly so long ago that I don't remember what it was anymore. At the 'Abi', for example, I was very, very calm. (And did very, very well, as well.)

I still haven't figured out how to install any kind of instant messenger on this computer - and this late in my stay here it hardly matters anymore, I feel...

Thanks for the offer though. I feel better now, though. Will probably fail the next exam as well, although I'm preparing quite a lot for that - just today I discovered that the trajectory of most of the probable exam questions is quite different from what I've been revising. Arrgh. But, that exam hardly matters at all, so I'm calm.

The essay I have to write right after is going to be more interesting... 'cause I only have four days for those 3000 words. Eeek! I haven't even *started* doing research for that! (Well, okay, a little bit - the Fight Club article I sent you yesterday was part of my first attempt of doing research, since I'm probably writing about Fight Club.)

Speaking of which... I've *finally* found your MM/NIN cd in the mess that is my room, and listened to it - and I like it! Now, could you tell me which songs on it are by MM and which are by NIN? I'm curious!

Oh, and did I mention I'm frelling creative at the moment?!? I wrote the beginning of yet another new story yesterday - a whole page in just under two hours. I *am* getting faster - a page a day is now not rare for me anymore, although I still only have those mad creative attacks once or twice a month.

Now I just need to learn how to *finish* things, LOL! The new story is called 'Terrourists' (this is a deliberate spelling error). It's basically about John's changing self-image and the experience of being planetside on some alien planet or other, oscillating between being a tourist, and a terrorist.

[dunkle-feuer.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you feel better now! How did your exam go? And how's your essay coming along?

I'm so happy that you like the CD. It's my current duty in life to spread the joy that is MM and NIN *g* They are both so very good. Now, if they would just hurry and bring their new albums out, I'd be a very happy fan. I tell you, being a NIN fan teaches you at least patience. Over five years since their last record ...

Congratulations to another story! Being creative is good! And at least you are writing, which is even more important than finishing something, IMO. But I'm probably not one to talk anyway, seeing how many projects I have going on at the same time and what for a hard time I have to finish something (though, despite all problems I had with the end, I just finished another one, well, at least the first draft :-)). Well, and even if I finished something, there's no guarantee that it will get posted any time soon, not even if I managed to send it to my beta and got it back. It seems, as soon as I finished a story, I lose interest.

Ah well, that's life *g* I just have too many ideas as that I could 'waste' too much time on an already finished project :-)

But your new story sounds intriguing. I love the title, too. After all, it is what John basically is, even if he never willingly chose to become either. I look forward to read it whenever you feel comfortable sharing it!