Hmpf sits an exam
May. 12th, 2004 12:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hmpf9:00 arrival
9:30 start of exam
9:35 Hmpf stares at exam questions, can't think of a single answer
9:45 Hmpf still can't think of anything
9:50 Hmpf writes down two words. Then stares at her piece of paper some more.
9:55 Hmpf has sudden panic attack; is brought glass of water
10:00 Hmpf feels terribly embarrassed due to breaking out in tears in class
10:05 Hmpf tries to breathe calmly
10:10 Hmpf scribbles down some more notes
10:30 Hmpf starts answering a question
11:15 Hmpf starts answering a second question
12:00 Hmpf decides to forget about the third question although there's still half an hour left, as her mind is completely blank. Hands in her exam book with an embarrassing total of five pages of, mostly, waffling. Then goes to see lecturer to enquire about mark for essay that makes up 50 percent of the final grade, to find out if she may still pass the module even though she probably failed the exam. Is told that yes, maybe. Depends on how badly she failed the exam. Hmpf suggests she failed very badly. Lecturer looks vaguely shocked, then suggests that this is something that 'happens to mature students' - they get out of practice.
---
I feel so stupid. Although of course it really only is a matter of practice. I have simply forgotten how to do this, prepare for an exam. Forgotten how to *study*. I still know it in theory, but for some reason I can't *do* it anymore. I might be able to relearn it, but then, in Germany I won't need it. Not this kind of studying, anyway.
A shame that this was the only one of my exams I really cared about. There's another one on Saturday next week, but that's sort of less important 'cause I probably won't be able to get it accredited in Germany, anyway. This one was the only one that really mattered.
Of course, I knew that. I knew that, and still didn't work efficiently. I knew all along what was going to happen. I've been talking about it for weeks. Although perhaps I didn't really believe it could happen to me. *I* don't fail exams...
I suppose in the light of 'try everything once', it was a valuable experience.
9:30 start of exam
9:35 Hmpf stares at exam questions, can't think of a single answer
9:45 Hmpf still can't think of anything
9:50 Hmpf writes down two words. Then stares at her piece of paper some more.
9:55 Hmpf has sudden panic attack; is brought glass of water
10:00 Hmpf feels terribly embarrassed due to breaking out in tears in class
10:05 Hmpf tries to breathe calmly
10:10 Hmpf scribbles down some more notes
10:30 Hmpf starts answering a question
11:15 Hmpf starts answering a second question
12:00 Hmpf decides to forget about the third question although there's still half an hour left, as her mind is completely blank. Hands in her exam book with an embarrassing total of five pages of, mostly, waffling. Then goes to see lecturer to enquire about mark for essay that makes up 50 percent of the final grade, to find out if she may still pass the module even though she probably failed the exam. Is told that yes, maybe. Depends on how badly she failed the exam. Hmpf suggests she failed very badly. Lecturer looks vaguely shocked, then suggests that this is something that 'happens to mature students' - they get out of practice.
---
I feel so stupid. Although of course it really only is a matter of practice. I have simply forgotten how to do this, prepare for an exam. Forgotten how to *study*. I still know it in theory, but for some reason I can't *do* it anymore. I might be able to relearn it, but then, in Germany I won't need it. Not this kind of studying, anyway.
A shame that this was the only one of my exams I really cared about. There's another one on Saturday next week, but that's sort of less important 'cause I probably won't be able to get it accredited in Germany, anyway. This one was the only one that really mattered.
Of course, I knew that. I knew that, and still didn't work efficiently. I knew all along what was going to happen. I've been talking about it for weeks. Although perhaps I didn't really believe it could happen to me. *I* don't fail exams...
I suppose in the light of 'try everything once', it was a valuable experience.
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no subject
Date: 2004-05-12 05:34 am (UTC)If you need someone to talk about panic attacks during written exams and how to get rid of them, please feel free to PM me anytime. I've been struggling with the very same problem for years and have quite a lot of experience when it comes to getting back some control over academic performances in critical situations.