hmpf

Back in the days when I began to take writing fanfic seriously, I discovered I couldn't enjoy reading fanfic in the fandoms I was writing anymore - especially really good fanfic. I compared myself to the writers I was reading, and found myself lacking, all too often. That's why I never read most of the really famous Farscape fan writers who had begun their ascent just around the time I started writing Farscape. That's why I nearly completely stopped reading Highlander. Thankfully, I've recently gotten over that silly inferiority complex thing, at least where my writing is concerned. I can enjoy fanfic in my writing fandoms again, and I'm glad of that. Partly, I think, this has to do with my increased belief in my skill (or at least potential) as a writer. So, I thought I had left that complex behind for good.

Well, apparently not. 'Cause now it's beginning to interfere with my enjoyment of fanvids.

Today, legendary vidder Luminosity posted a Life On Mars vid. I downloaded it, but I'm almost terrified of watching it. I know I'm being silly - especially since comparing myself to Luminosity is nothing short of hubris - yet I can't help myself.

Oh, I'll watch it eventually, I'm sure.

But, yeah, something in me's trembling at the thought, and not with pleasant anticipation as it should.

Silly, eh?