I think I'm rediscovering play...

... as part of the design process. Or maybe discovering it for the first time, if you consider that I spent the entire three years of my professional training in a state of absolute creative block.

It's fascinating - I had something like half a dozen useable ideas today. (Feels like) more than I've had in as many years.

The significance of the fact that this creative explosion happens at a time when I'm paralysed with the fear of starting my M.A. does not escape me. It confirms my theory that I do my best work - or my best creative work, anyway - when I'm procrastinating from 'something more serious'.

Which, frankly, dooms me as an artist, or at least as an independent artist. Because I'll apparently always need something to procrastinate *from* - as soon as art becomes 'the main thing' in my life, I get horrendously blocked. (Not that making a living from selling my jewellery is very likely to work, anyway.)

And if I'm not *very* lucky, it may well happen that whatever job I end up in to make myself procrastinate creatively will take up so much of my time and energy that it will effectively remove the opportunity for creative procrastination.

("Marry a rich man," my mother jokes. But that, of course, would kill my creativity completely. Though I suppose I could then take a part-time job, or do some volunteering, and be creative in my still copious spare time. Yes, I think I like that plan. ;-))

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Your jewellery link for the day: Giampaolo Babetto. One of the people who defined modern jewellery. Half the students at my former school still copy him. *g*

Isn't it fun...

how this journal mutates from all LoM squee to all uni angst to all LoM hate to all writing angst to all FS vid recs to all jewellery angst/squee etc.? *g*

Sam Tyler sabotages my time travel bunnies.

You know, I *love* playing around with time travel fic ideas in LoM. I think about bringing the 1970s crowd to the present; I take Sam (who in my personal canon is in the present, at least most of the time) back into the past; I have them all jumping between times randomly...

Yet at some point these bunnies always die. And it's mostly Sam who kills them. Because as soon as I make it a definite case of time travel, i.e. a situation in which he can't tell himself anymore that he's dreaming, he either goes a bit mad, or he starts to get too inquisitive for his own good. He wants to know how in hell it is possible, he wants to know what caused it - and he wants a believable explanation, not some handwaving, because he's Sam. And time travel takes over the story, and I have to invent old classmates who went into quantum physics and just *happen* to be involved in certain experiments, or bring in the Doctor (usually with Rose as Sam's cousin, and a kind of accidental transfer of 'powers' as the deus ex machina-like explanation. That *sort* of works to shut Sam up, although he mostly still reacts with the other option he has beyond being inquisitive, namely, going a bit mad. Sam's not the type for taking something fantastic in stride; he's been questioning his sanity for too long.)

Depending on how I do the time travel it's hard, sometimes, even to get Sam to interact with time-travelling 1970s people. The last time I brought some over to the present he spent the first 24 hours just glaring at them, or pointedly ignoring them. And who can blame him - here he was thinking he was finally doing okay again in the sanity department, yet there are his 'hallucinations' again - only this time they haunt him in the present. Not the most reassuring thing that could happen to you if you've just overcome what you can only frame as suicidal delusions.

So, I think I'll probably never be able to write an actual time travel story. (Reading them is somewhat easier, although there, too, I have problems with the handwaving, sometimes.)