I can feel a serious disruption in the fan fiction continuum...

... as hundreds of writers's shift their imaginations permanently to AU...

(The death felt rather pointless and silly, IMO, and I'm not saying this because I loved the character. Like the shades of grey though, esp. the Marauders being idiots. *g*)

Good thing we don't get to see the body, though. Makes it easier to resurrect the person for fan fiction purposes in a halfway believable way. ;-) I know it violates canon, but right now, I don't care.

Fandom hysterias...

That's not actually the word I'm looking for, but I can't think of a better expression right now, so it will have to do.

Anyway, I'm sure you all know what I mean. Many of you have been part of it, probably several times - like myself. It's fun, in an exhausting, and sometimes exasperating kind of way. Suddenly, fandom takes precedence over Real Life, with a vengeance. You're staying up all night surfing the net for news, any news, any little bit that one might have missed. Lurking at a dozen forums, trying to glean spoilers or other kinds of info, or read reactions to something one already knows. You're in a permanent state of nervous excitement. You can't eat or work properly... It's frelling annyoing, but my self-control just isn't strong enough to fight it. It's as if a part of my brain just... quits. (I'm glad not too many RL people are reading this blog... *g*)

First time it happened to me? The Lord of the Rings wait (especially for the first movie...) - Then the cancellation of Farscape - and now, ironically, Harry Potter, book five. Ironically, because I'm *still* not really a HP fan. I'm not even really sure I want to read the book. I'm a HP fan the way I was a HL fan - head over heels for one character, but kinda lukewarm about the rest of the universe. Sure, there's parts of the books I enjoy immensely, and aspects of the universe I find intriguing, but without Sirius (and, to a lesser degree, Remus), I wouldn't *dream* of, say, reading fan fiction about it. And I still hold that there are more impressive children's books out there, books that I wish had a fandom, because I'd really *love* to read fic about them. (I've recommended them many times already, but I just feel a need to plug Michael de Larrabeiti's 'Borribles' books again...)

Nevertheless, I've been behaving like a Potterhead for about a week now, and it has interfered majorly with my studies, and my sleeping habits, and a thousand other things. Not to mention that I've been depressed (to a not too devastating, but still noticeable degree) since I found out about The Death on wednesday. Did I mention that HP - of all fandoms! - has finally turned me into a slash reader?! How's that for irony... I blame it all on the great fics out there. I didn't *want* to read them, but they kept being recommended all over the place! There, now I feel better. Well, not really, but it's nice having someone to blame. I'm not so twisted yet as to blame J.K. Rowling for making the choices she did - these are *her* books! Better blame the slashers for adding so many layers and making those characters so real that I can't help but care deeply about them. *eg*

Maybe I should start sending feedback, so that they see the ship is still in demand? Hm... but I don't *need* another active fandom!

Ah, decisions, decisions... Why So Difficult?!?

Oh, one more thing...

Err... mild spoilers... but I don't know how to make an LJ cut. Anyway, not many HP fans are reading my LJ, and these spoilers aren't exactly big, IMO. Still... spoilerspace, I suppose:

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Sorry, I really have to learn how to write LJ code. I used to know how to link, but I keep forgetting how to do it, and I never found out how to cut. *sigh*

Anyway: about bullies and growing up. I would hate to be seen as a blindly forgiving Sirius apologist, but I must say that from my own experience, bullies growing up into decent people *does* happen. I was bullied at school (every bit as badly as Snape, I'd say - even including the underwear bit, sort of) and as the years went by I've seen some of the people who wouldn't let an opportunity to bully me pass become... well 'nice', for lack of a better word. I made friends with one or two of them, to a degree (we even talked about the issue), later on. So, to all the people whose comments I've read today (but who probably don't read my LJ anyway *g*) and who seem to think that nothing short of a major life changing event can change a teenage school bully: even as a mobbing victim myself, I wouldn't judge a grown-up person based on their behaviour at age 15. People can change a lot in puberty, and sometimes, maybe even quite often, they change for the better.