Working, writing, watching TV
Sep. 3rd, 2002 03:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hmpfThat sums up today, which might sound like not so good a day, but actually it was. A good day, I mean. I did a lot of work for uni, read 70 pages, and I just saw 'Dogma' with Kadira and Volker. Nice movie - detected a Neil Gaiman influence there, and he was in the credits, indeed, right after a number of saints. It's funny how I can get positively high on fictions. Anyway, I already rambled about that some other time, and I still have a character to kill (I want to get that fic done so I can go on writing 'Breakfast of Losers' again), so I'll just leave it at that remark. For now.
I've also thought a bit about many of the people I've become friends with over the last few years. I think the one thing they have in common is a rich, sometimes somewhat twisted inner life that doesn't often show on the outside. On the outside, many of us, myself included, are the most unremarkable people imaginable. We don't do much about that -- we don't spend a lot of money or time on appearances, I mean. But we spend time (and sometimes money) on maintaining and sharing our fantastic inner universes. I know - feel - I need this, but sometimes it does frighten me, and then I need a good dose of Real Life. But once I got that dose of Real Life, I soon feel that need for fantasy again. It's a difficult balancing act. It's not entirely unstressful, but it's something that seems to be a permanent characteristic of my psyche. I need fiction - reading, watching, writing - to cope with reality, and then I need reality to cope with fiction.
Back to my friends for a moment. Relationships in a fandom environment are a balancing act, themselves. How much Real Life troubles do we allow into our conversations... and how much of my very own obsession will the other be willing to endure... Talking fannish stuff can bring people closer together, create a sense of community, but there is also a point when you cross over into Real Life territory -- when you *need* to cross over into Real Life territory to become *really* comfortable with each other, and how you do that determines whether you'll be friends with any given person or just share an obsessive interest with them (which, in any case, is still more than I share with the average passer-by on the street).
So, relationships in fandom aren't really that much easier, I suppose, than your usual Real Life relationship -- you start on slightly different premises, and *then* progress to the usual stuff of a friendship.
Oops, there's thunder outside, and Kadira is telling me the electricity might be frelled soon, so I'll just post this, somewhat unfinished.
I've also thought a bit about many of the people I've become friends with over the last few years. I think the one thing they have in common is a rich, sometimes somewhat twisted inner life that doesn't often show on the outside. On the outside, many of us, myself included, are the most unremarkable people imaginable. We don't do much about that -- we don't spend a lot of money or time on appearances, I mean. But we spend time (and sometimes money) on maintaining and sharing our fantastic inner universes. I know - feel - I need this, but sometimes it does frighten me, and then I need a good dose of Real Life. But once I got that dose of Real Life, I soon feel that need for fantasy again. It's a difficult balancing act. It's not entirely unstressful, but it's something that seems to be a permanent characteristic of my psyche. I need fiction - reading, watching, writing - to cope with reality, and then I need reality to cope with fiction.
Back to my friends for a moment. Relationships in a fandom environment are a balancing act, themselves. How much Real Life troubles do we allow into our conversations... and how much of my very own obsession will the other be willing to endure... Talking fannish stuff can bring people closer together, create a sense of community, but there is also a point when you cross over into Real Life territory -- when you *need* to cross over into Real Life territory to become *really* comfortable with each other, and how you do that determines whether you'll be friends with any given person or just share an obsessive interest with them (which, in any case, is still more than I share with the average passer-by on the street).
So, relationships in fandom aren't really that much easier, I suppose, than your usual Real Life relationship -- you start on slightly different premises, and *then* progress to the usual stuff of a friendship.
Oops, there's thunder outside, and Kadira is telling me the electricity might be frelled soon, so I'll just post this, somewhat unfinished.
