2 Observations
Nov. 13th, 2003 01:38 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hmpfThe internet is the ideal medium of communication for me because on the internet, it is not considered weird or wrong to talk about yourself. In Real Life, to initiate any kind of interhuman relationship you need to be the giving one – you need to ask questions, demonstrate that you're interested in a person, draw them out. I can't do that, never could. Instead, I have talked about myself all my life, and that is like sending a message in a bottle – you can only hope that someone is going to find it, some day, and reply to it.
On the internet, everyone is sending such messages in a bottle, all the time. Whether we're talking about our favourite show or book in a forum, or talking about our life in a livejournal, what we're really saying is 'this is me, see me, *like* me'. (This is not the only thing we're saying, but it's a crucial component.) On the internet, that is a perfectly normal way of initiating a relationship. (And no, I'm not talking about the man/woman kind of relationship here, but *every* kind of human relationship.)
I am not lonely in Real Life, not really. At home, I have my circle of friends, some of them long-time friends I know from my school days, some of them 'newer' (most of those are fannish friends). However, my circle in Germany was partly the result of living in the same city for 26 years of my life, and partly a side effect of my fandom activities. Here, in a new city, I am thrown back onto the dire truth of my basic inability to communicate like a normal person, with the result that after more than two months here, I hardly know anybody, and those few that I do know only cursorily. And I don't really see a way to change it.
So, it seems I did not really learn. I just got lucky. But I don't have the time to get lucky here. Luck takes time, you have to wait years for it.
So, what do I do? Any advice? But, I'm on the internet here. Many of you probably have exactly the same problem... ;-)
In other news, I've seen the Matrix: Revolutions now. It was pretty much as I expected. Well, what do I think of it? I think this movie teaches us a lesson, which is: 'don't overdose on anime and the Bible at the same time. It will make you make stupid movies.'
Well, that was a bit harsh. Actually it wasn't that bad. It just wasn't good, either. It was pretty blah. The CG was amazing, but it's a sad thing if that is the best you can say about a movie.
Now let's talk for a bit about one thing that really fascinates me about the Matrix movies. It's not really addressed in the movies; rather, it's something *I* am bringing to the movies when I watch them, a preoccupation of mine that I project onto it. It's this: all these people like Neo, Trinity, Morpheus, all the Matrix-born ones who come into the Real World. Mustn't they walk around with a permanent 'this blows my mind!' feeling, a permanent feeling of surreality in the 'Real World'? And what would it be like, to have to reconcile an identity built in what is essentially our time, the late 20th/early 21st century, with the incredibly severe life of the 'Real World'? How would that colour the way you experience life?
One of the things I love about Farscape is that it actually *goes there*, it goes where the Matrix does not go. It shows us the disorientation that the loss of the familiar coordinates of your self-image causes. In a way, Farscape is all about questions of self, of identity. It is no coincidence that John's psyche is so often invaded. The show is about what happens if you are cast adrift, not just in a literal, but even more so in a psychological sense.
On the internet, everyone is sending such messages in a bottle, all the time. Whether we're talking about our favourite show or book in a forum, or talking about our life in a livejournal, what we're really saying is 'this is me, see me, *like* me'. (This is not the only thing we're saying, but it's a crucial component.) On the internet, that is a perfectly normal way of initiating a relationship. (And no, I'm not talking about the man/woman kind of relationship here, but *every* kind of human relationship.)
I am not lonely in Real Life, not really. At home, I have my circle of friends, some of them long-time friends I know from my school days, some of them 'newer' (most of those are fannish friends). However, my circle in Germany was partly the result of living in the same city for 26 years of my life, and partly a side effect of my fandom activities. Here, in a new city, I am thrown back onto the dire truth of my basic inability to communicate like a normal person, with the result that after more than two months here, I hardly know anybody, and those few that I do know only cursorily. And I don't really see a way to change it.
So, it seems I did not really learn. I just got lucky. But I don't have the time to get lucky here. Luck takes time, you have to wait years for it.
So, what do I do? Any advice? But, I'm on the internet here. Many of you probably have exactly the same problem... ;-)
In other news, I've seen the Matrix: Revolutions now. It was pretty much as I expected. Well, what do I think of it? I think this movie teaches us a lesson, which is: 'don't overdose on anime and the Bible at the same time. It will make you make stupid movies.'
Well, that was a bit harsh. Actually it wasn't that bad. It just wasn't good, either. It was pretty blah. The CG was amazing, but it's a sad thing if that is the best you can say about a movie.
Now let's talk for a bit about one thing that really fascinates me about the Matrix movies. It's not really addressed in the movies; rather, it's something *I* am bringing to the movies when I watch them, a preoccupation of mine that I project onto it. It's this: all these people like Neo, Trinity, Morpheus, all the Matrix-born ones who come into the Real World. Mustn't they walk around with a permanent 'this blows my mind!' feeling, a permanent feeling of surreality in the 'Real World'? And what would it be like, to have to reconcile an identity built in what is essentially our time, the late 20th/early 21st century, with the incredibly severe life of the 'Real World'? How would that colour the way you experience life?
One of the things I love about Farscape is that it actually *goes there*, it goes where the Matrix does not go. It shows us the disorientation that the loss of the familiar coordinates of your self-image causes. In a way, Farscape is all about questions of self, of identity. It is no coincidence that John's psyche is so often invaded. The show is about what happens if you are cast adrift, not just in a literal, but even more so in a psychological sense.
