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hmpfIn all my fandoms, really.
I haven't read any Farscape stuff since around 2002, I think, perhaps even earlier - I've read barely any of the big name writers' stuff in that fandom, because I started to drop out of reading when they were getting into it (so maybe I actually stopped in 2001, I dunno).
My last Highlander reading phase was around 2005.
Life on Mars I mostly stopped reading in 2007 - partly for the obvious reason of my souring on the fandom in a big way.
The "no reading" policy has done wonders for my writing (by removing the main source of writer's angst - comparing myself to others), but dammit, I miss it. Finding good fic is still one of the biggest thrills I know.
Last time around, I actually didn't stop reading Highlander for neurotic reasons - that was just Farscape and Life on Mars. For Highlander, I just exhausted what fic that fit my personal reading preferences was easily available at that point. I did neurotically stop reading Highlander around 2000, though. But my second reading stint in that fandom wasn't marred by obsessive self-comparison.
I feel less neurotic about my writing now, actually - in all of these fandoms. I've written at least one, sometimes even two good fics in each of them, and for some reason that makes me dial down the constant comparing somewhat. It's like, after writing something good, I can tell myself "I'm good in this fandom in this particular way; others are good in other ways, and it's okay that I can't be good in *their* ways."
Still, I feel a peculiar sort of trepidation at the thought of jumping back into the reading end of the pool. I think partly it's just backlog angst, quite similar actually to my more general LJ backlog angst. It's another example of something I used to love unconditionally becoming tangled up with feelings of guilt to such a degree as to (almost?) make me shy away from the activity for good.
"Why am I so good at guilt" is a question I need to tackle, methinks.
I haven't read any Farscape stuff since around 2002, I think, perhaps even earlier - I've read barely any of the big name writers' stuff in that fandom, because I started to drop out of reading when they were getting into it (so maybe I actually stopped in 2001, I dunno).
My last Highlander reading phase was around 2005.
Life on Mars I mostly stopped reading in 2007 - partly for the obvious reason of my souring on the fandom in a big way.
The "no reading" policy has done wonders for my writing (by removing the main source of writer's angst - comparing myself to others), but dammit, I miss it. Finding good fic is still one of the biggest thrills I know.
Last time around, I actually didn't stop reading Highlander for neurotic reasons - that was just Farscape and Life on Mars. For Highlander, I just exhausted what fic that fit my personal reading preferences was easily available at that point. I did neurotically stop reading Highlander around 2000, though. But my second reading stint in that fandom wasn't marred by obsessive self-comparison.
I feel less neurotic about my writing now, actually - in all of these fandoms. I've written at least one, sometimes even two good fics in each of them, and for some reason that makes me dial down the constant comparing somewhat. It's like, after writing something good, I can tell myself "I'm good in this fandom in this particular way; others are good in other ways, and it's okay that I can't be good in *their* ways."
Still, I feel a peculiar sort of trepidation at the thought of jumping back into the reading end of the pool. I think partly it's just backlog angst, quite similar actually to my more general LJ backlog angst. It's another example of something I used to love unconditionally becoming tangled up with feelings of guilt to such a degree as to (almost?) make me shy away from the activity for good.
"Why am I so good at guilt" is a question I need to tackle, methinks.
