Okay, let's see...
Jun. 7th, 2011 02:46 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hmpfThere has to be a way to get on top of this.
Maybe if I can manage just *one* month of, hmm, what's still *just* humanly possible, sixteen-hour-days, maybe? Sixteen hours of true productiveness *has* to be possible, if it's just for a few weeks. ('course, next week I'll be losing most of the week, and all of the weekend, to a conference. Not much chance of getting anything done *there*, I wager.)
I *need* to get rid of this backlog. I can't go on with this backlog. Because with this backlog in place, everything new inevitably becomes backlog, too, and I set myself up for constant failure. I've already had six weeks of solid failure and I'm kind of sick of it. Also, not sure how much longer people will tolerate my atrocious sustained incompetence. I need to change.
The problem is that I keep getting these breakdowns, these sudden, unplanned attacks of slacking off. Haven't had many since I've been here, but I can't afford *any*, at the moment. Just lost most of the weekend to one, and I *really* would have needed that weekend to work. So today I've been working like crazy, but it's too late now, you can't squeeze two and a half days' worth of work into one day. (And even two and a half days probably wouldn't have been enough.) So tomorrow (today... it's only four more hours before my alarm clock will ring) will be another one of those torturous sessions where I don't know what to say at all.
I need to make myself *function* - function properly, like other, efficient, competent adults do. I know most people routinely handle twice as much as I do, without breaking down in the least. If I could just make myself function well, for just one month, I might have a chance.
Maybe if I can manage just *one* month of, hmm, what's still *just* humanly possible, sixteen-hour-days, maybe? Sixteen hours of true productiveness *has* to be possible, if it's just for a few weeks. ('course, next week I'll be losing most of the week, and all of the weekend, to a conference. Not much chance of getting anything done *there*, I wager.)
I *need* to get rid of this backlog. I can't go on with this backlog. Because with this backlog in place, everything new inevitably becomes backlog, too, and I set myself up for constant failure. I've already had six weeks of solid failure and I'm kind of sick of it. Also, not sure how much longer people will tolerate my atrocious sustained incompetence. I need to change.
The problem is that I keep getting these breakdowns, these sudden, unplanned attacks of slacking off. Haven't had many since I've been here, but I can't afford *any*, at the moment. Just lost most of the weekend to one, and I *really* would have needed that weekend to work. So today I've been working like crazy, but it's too late now, you can't squeeze two and a half days' worth of work into one day. (And even two and a half days probably wouldn't have been enough.) So tomorrow (today... it's only four more hours before my alarm clock will ring) will be another one of those torturous sessions where I don't know what to say at all.
I need to make myself *function* - function properly, like other, efficient, competent adults do. I know most people routinely handle twice as much as I do, without breaking down in the least. If I could just make myself function well, for just one month, I might have a chance.
