Sad.

[hmpf]

Just told the museum people... (Couldn't quite muster the courage yesterday.) They were so very nice on the phone. Now I'm even more sad to be leaving...

You know, I'm really risking a year of almost guaranteed happiness for a chance at an interesting challenge here. I know with almost total certainty that in many ways, I'm going to be quite unhappy very soon, possibly for a fairly long while. Will the job make up for that?

Am I even up to this kind of long-term challenge? Or am I setting myself up for some dramatic failure here?

Too late to wonder now, of course. I've made my decision.


***

These cats in hats only minimally alleviate my angst at the moment:

Comments

[beccatoria.livejournal.com]

Hey. *hugs*

I owe you a reply to your email. I can empathise, to a degree, with how you're feeling. I think that it's somewhat similar to how I felt before leaving for Korea. It's a bad comparison in some ways because that did end in failure, but two things: 1) the failure wasn't mine - I adapted and coped and became comfortable with standing in front of twenty kids who couldn't speak the same language as me and keeping order for an hour, which, at the start, was terrifying and 2) when it did end in failure, life went on. In the aftermath, I'm still glad I went rather than declining to and always wondering.

Whatever happens, we'll definitely make sure we meet up sometime in the somewhat-near-future.

<3

[diotimah.livejournal.com]

Just told the museum people... (Couldn't quite muster the courage yesterday.) They were so very nice on the phone. Now I'm even more sad to be leaving...

Understandable. But somehow, it always seems to be like that. Either you have nothing at all, or you have to make a choice ...

You know, I'm really risking a year of almost guaranteed happiness for a chance at an interesting challenge here. I know with almost total certainty that in many ways, I'm going to be quite unhappy very soon, possibly for a fairly long while. Will the job make up for that?

Well, one of the advantages of that job, I suppose, is that you won't be feeling as lonely as you would, if you were, say, relocating for an administrative post or something of the kind. Here, you're almost guaranteed to meet people who share your interests, passions and concerns, collegues and students who can also beome friends.

Too late to wonder now, of course. I've made my decision.

Of course.;) Otherwise you would have never forgiven yourself, and have always kept wondering what might have been ...