Paging HL writers/betas

[hmpf]

Anybody wanna help me fix a very old (2001!) story with an interesting concept (a quickening, seen from both sides) and somewhat flawed execution? I just noticed that I took this offline for a rewrite *years* ago, but I haven't managed to improve it so far, so I guess I need help.

Comments

[dswdiane.livejournal.com]

I can give it a look. dswdiane@aol.com

Yay!

[hmpf.livejournal.com]

I've just taken a look at the file and discovered that one thing I *can* do to improve it is cut a lot of redundant adjectives and the like. *g* I'll do that - quickly, i.e., right now (sometimes doing stuff like this on impulse is the best way) before I send it to you. :-)

Heeeh.

[hmpf.livejournal.com]

I think this will be shorter by about a quarter or so when I'm done with it. So much redundancy!

Jeez, this fic is *ridiculously* purple!

[hmpf.livejournal.com]

I can cut entire sentences - even several per paragraph - without losing anything of importance.

I should post a before-and-after here sometime, so people will see what I mean when I say I need to edit myself rigorously.

Re: Yay!

[dswdiane.livejournal.com]

Okay. I'll have a look when you send.

Okay, I'm done now.

[hmpf.livejournal.com]

Cut about a fifth of the story. Boy, that felt good.