Why do I look so bizarre?

[hmpf]

(Not ugly, mind you. Just... really, really odd. The proportions of my face are weird, and the face as a whole is just disproportionally huge, as well. And in at least half of all photos of me I look as if I'm *just* this side of manic. How am I supposed to find an appropriate photo for my application papers if I can't look 'normal' in a photo?)

(No, I'm not going to post a picture. But, for the curious, here's some puzzle pieces: *huge*, slightly non-symmetrical eyes; *huge*, oddly shaped nose; rabbit-like front teeth that, obviously, show very much when I smile or laugh; and very thick, dark eyebrows. Which probably makes me sound a bit more bizarre than I do look... The main problem is the eyes, really. I often look as if I'm seeing angels and demons, or something. As I said: just this side of manic. *Not* the first impression you want prospective employers to get...)

Comments

[stabbim.livejournal.com]

You don't look bizarre, you're "just" way too thin. IMHO.

Oh, way to make me feel better:

[hmpf.livejournal.com]

use an icon of the most gorgeous woman on the planet... :D (Kidding. I do appreciate your trying to reassure me.)

Thinness isn't a problem with a portrait like this. The fact that I always look as if I'm about to get out a knife to disembowel the photographer does. Seriously, you haven't seen photos of me trying to smile an 'application papers' smile... they're *always* bizarre. Either they look really tense, or they look as if I'm crazy.

Re: Oh, way to make me feel better:

[stabbim.livejournal.com]

Thinness isn't a problem with a portrait like this.

Of course it is! Your cheekbones and your eyes look hallow because you're underweight, anorexic even.

Anorexic?

[hmpf.livejournal.com]

(BTW: the eyes don't look hollow, they're just kinda big. They always were, even when I was a baby. So, I kinda doubt that has anything to do with my weight, especially since I was a chubby baby.)

Also - at the risk of sounding like an anorexic *g* - I'm not anorexic. Underweight, yes, but a) I couldn't care less about my weight; no obsession going on there; if anything, I'd like to gain some (I don't enjoy constantly being suspected of anorexia); b) my weight has been more or less stable my entire grown life, i.e for the last twenty years ('more or less' because I don't really know the exact weight I have now or had at other points of my life, as I don't weigh myself; I just know that I've always been able to wear the same clothes for years, which clearly would be a problem if I was losing weight. Also, I've been consistently underweight since my early teens, so if I'd been losing weight since then, well, I'd probably be dead now.) c) all females in my family (mother and aunts) were underweight well into their thirties, so I suspect this is just a genetic thing; d) even when I eat prodigious amounts of food for a period, I gain very little weight. At sixteen or so I purposely tried to gain weight, and ate a lot of 'fattening' stuff for several months, yet even on that 'diet' I didn't reach normal weight. (49 kg was the most I could manage.)

A few years ago I *did* hit 50 kg (which is still underweight, of course, but is more than I'd ever weighed in my life, I think) for a while (while in England, where I ate lots of chocolate) - I found out because my trousers didn't fit anymore, so that when I went back to Germany for Christmas, I decided to weigh myself for once, to find out what was going on there. Since then it's gone back down a bit again, though, simply because here at home I don't tend to eat a bar of chocolate per day.

Oh, and regarding my body image: I have never, ever thought I was 'too fat'. When I look into a mirror I see a very thin person.

I've never dieted, either. Except for that one attempt to gain weight.

I do realise that an anorexic would probably invent stories like this, so yeah, I can probably never really 'prove' to anyone that I'm not anorexic. I'll just have to live with people's concern and suspicion until I'm old enough for 'old age fattening' ;-) to set in.... (this does happen to the female parts of my family, so there's hope for me yet. *g*)

(Yes, I've been tested for Schilddrüsenüberfunktion.)

Sorry if I overreacted...

[hmpf.livejournal.com]

It's just that being suspected of being anorexic does get old if it happens to you again and again over a period of nearly twenty years.

[the-borgi.livejournal.com]

I agree with stabbim - you don´t look bizarre. You look like you, that´s all.
You are recognizable, and thats actually a good thing applying for a job.

I´m doing job interviews myself, and all I ever look for in pictures is "stupid" grins or REALLY unfortunate pictures (like the person in the photo holding a cat or looking porny).

Just go to a (good) professional photographer if possible (they make a few pictures for you to choos), wear professional cloth (at least the shirt).

To be honest - I never like myself in pictures too, but thats probably that way for a lot of people.

Photographers...

[hmpf.livejournal.com]

I've tried photographers, and the pictures are always of a very particular kind of horribleness. *g* I just can't smile on cue.

I'm not really that picky, either. I'd just like a picture on which I look somewhat natural, but also trustworthy and professional. But, as I said - all the pictures I've tried so far either make me look *incredibly* tense (and you may not mind that in an application photo, but from what I've heard, quite a few people *do*), or completely mad.

[beccatoria.livejournal.com]

While I empathise with photographing horribly (a problem I have, I'm not sure if you do, but I know some of us just aren't photogenic), the idea that you look bizarre is rather patently false. I know what you look like, you look like you, you look fine and in no way "bizarre"!

Be careful about such nonsense or I'll sic Adrian on you. And don't make me do that, because he'd rather enjoy it. :p

With regard to the pictures thing I really don't have a good suggestion except what I do when I need a picture I don't look weird in, which is just...take lots and eventually you'll get one which doesn't look atrocious?

[dunkle-feuer.livejournal.com]

I agree with the other people here. I have seen you in person and if you haven't changed completely since then (meaning: you got an entirely new face, etc.), then you don't look bizarre. You look like yourself, nothing else. But pictures can be horrible. The ones I used for my application were not very flattering either (and I went to a photographer) and my passport currently holds a photo where I look like some kind of terrorist, ready to blow up the next building. In the passport I had before that, I looked absolutely stoned. Wasn't that much better *g*

I wish you good luck in getting a very good photo for your applications!

Yeah, I know I look all right *in person*.

[hmpf.livejournal.com]

I should have added "... in photographs" to the post. That's what I get for posting in the middle of the night... *g*

Yeah... 'terrorist' and 'stoned' are two options you frequently see in professional photos of me, too. And in private ones, as mentioned, "completely and dangerously insane" is the third option. *sigh*