Myself, in retrospect

[hmpf]

Well, today I was at work, which means I had eight hours to do stuff that would otherwise be considered procrastination, without much of a guilty conscience. So, I did some catching up, though I cheated a bit there, choosing mostly short ljs. And then I tagged about two thirds of my entries for 2003.

Results:

- The "farscape" tag is bigger than the "life on mars" tag now. It's a bit alarming, to be honest, because it's not just the "farscape" tag growing - the "life on mars" tag is actively shrinking. If I keep tagging my old entries it will soon shrink into insignificance. Clearly I must post more Life on Mars content here, and soon! *g*

- I was reminded how neurotic I used to be about my writing. I mean, I hadn't exactly forgotten about this, really - but it's still striking to see that kind of extreme doubt pop up so frequently in my lj. Incidentally, I think 2003 was also the year that those particular fears began to fade a bit. It was the year I found beccatoria, who I think has done more to raise my faith in my potential than all the recs and feedback I have received in my life. I think it was also the year I passed some actual, objective 'quality threshold'. Most of the stuff I've written since then holds up reasonably well. And, last but probably not least, I think it may have been the year a fic of mine ("Together") was recced for the very first time. Though that may have been early 2004, come to think of it - I suspect I'll find out as I continue to tag the entries that come after October 2003.

- It's amazing how my flist has changed. I happen to have captured the entirety of it as it was back then in this post here, as a linking exercise: the main thing about my flist back then, aside from the fact that it was mostly made up of BABEs, was that it was short! Amazingly short.

- It's kind of fun to look back at myself as I was five or four years ago, but I can only take a certain dose of past!me.

Comments

[beccatoria.livejournal.com]

who I think has done more to raise my faith in my potential than all the recs and feedback I have received in my life.

This means a great deal to me; thank you.

I've said it before, I'll say it again:

[hmpf.livejournal.com]

you're the best thing that ever happened to my writing. Should I ever, *ever* manage to write something publishable it'll be dedicated to you. You 'get' me better than any beta I had before; you're honest, you can be harsh, but never unduly so, you trust me (i.e. if something's strange in something I write you'll assume I *meant* it to be strange - but you'll also tell me if it doesn't work)... etc.

All of this would be wonderful enough if it came from an 'average' writer; the fact that I fangirl you like whoah makes it a dream come true.

(I know the fangirling hasn't been so apparent lately; but I still do. I want to read your novel, dammit! *shakes fist at universe that keeps you from writing* I know I fangirl other writers more openly/obnoxiously - but those are all people who are not just good writers but, in addition to that, extremely prolific. Now, that is the kind of combination that sends me into paroxysms of self-abasement. I can deal with people who are good *or* prolific, but *both* at the same time... is a bit much. *g* So, you're saved from me making a fool of myself in front of you by the fact that you frequently seem to struggle to write. I can related to that.

That doesn't mean that I wouldn't be totally thrilled if you managed to overcome that and actually write more. Because I love you so damn much. *g*)