One, two... test.

[hmpf]

Hey, nice journal. Hope you don't mind me using this while Hmpf is -- OUCH!! The bitch bites! -- Anyway, as I was saying... Hmpf is, err, busy. Yeah. Busy.

(Will you stop biting my ankles?)

Excuse me a moment, there's a matter I must attend to.

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*noises of a violent row*

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So sorry for this unedifying spectacle... Terribly sorry... Don't know why she behaves like this... She's usually quite docile...

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*more noises*

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OW! Stop it!

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Will you *stop* it! Ouch! That hurt! ... Ow!

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*noise quieting down a bit*

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Come on, be a good little student. Who's a good little student? Who's a good little student? Here's a cookie for the good little stu... OW!! F***!

Sheesh. You'd think I was trying to make her do something terrible, when really I only have her best interest at heart. Oh, and btw: I object to the term 'Evil Real Life Monster'. I'm not evil. I'm just misunderstood.

(You there! What do you think you're doing, making puppy-dog eyes at the computer! Back to work! Do I have to remind you that you have four essays to write?)

Well... have a nice evening, everyone. And remember, it's not "ERLM", it's "MRLM". Yeah.