Comments, mails, etc.

[hmpf]

I need to reply to comments. I also need to reply to five or six important mails - some as old as a month or more by now. I also need to contact friends to plan my next visit home - the first 'proper' one, the first that isn't mainly for the purpose of moving.

People I love, people I miss, people I'm grateful to.

Why is it so damn difficult to actually write any of these comments and mails? Why do I keep postponing this until it basically doesn't matter anymore, even though the mails and comments I received made me so happy and grateful?

Comments

[beccatoria.livejournal.com]

Because it's something you care about and therefore don't want to dash off without effort, but then that creates expectation, which creates pressure, which creates stress, which creates avoidance. It's understandable, if annoying.

Give yourself permission not to feel guilty about it. Then maybe you'll find it less difficult to get started, or, if you don't manage to get started, you at least won't be wasting energy on guilt that you could be using to get something else done. <3

[this is a guilt-free comment, and you are not allowed to reply to it unless it brings you no stress!]

Well, for one thing,

[hmpf.livejournal.com]

there is rarely such a thing as "without effort" when it comes to me and social interaction. But the question remains, why does my brain define most social interaction, including that with very good friends etc., as something akin to "work", rather than relaxation? Especially as the rewards *are* so great, even for me - when I finally do make myself engage in interaction. Why is there a dominant part of my brain that just seems to forget about the rewards of interaction, and only sees the investment that has to be made? I really don't get this part of myself.