Time/Money

[hmpf]

I had a discussion with my dad today about the sad fact that, with the way society and the economy are set up, you basically have to accept that you have to spend your entire adult life working *a lot*, often at something that isn't very gratifying, and having only a tiny bit of time and energy (if any) for friends, hobbies, political activity etc, - or you can choose to organise your life in a way that gives you more freedom to do the things that you love (including spending time with people you love), but, in that case, you have to accept that you'll almost certainly be relatively poor during your working life, and *really* poor in your old age.

(Of course, I'm still very skeptical that there'll be anything like our society or the economy or money still around when I'm old, but let's ignore that for a moment.)

Now, none of this is news, of course. But I'm still finding it hard to accept that option A, the "decent money and no time" option, is supposed to be the more desirable of the two. I'm finding myself leaning more and more towards the "be poor & do (at least some of) what you want" option. Although I'm really scared of being poor when I'm old and may need help that may be expensive.

But the idea of not being able to make jewellery, not being able to write, not being able to participate in fandom, not being able to keep working on ecological issues, even just not being able to cook for myself at least *reasonably* often.... depresses me *deeply*. As does the option of choosing, say, one of these activities to keep, and discarding the rest.

(ETA: The issue of spending time with friends is not listed among the activities in the last paragraph because I'm already being absolutely crap at managing that, even without a full-time job etc.)

Comments

Waffling

[hmpf.livejournal.com]

>I've kind of waffled between the two states for a long time.

So, what's the current state you're in? Just curious (and hey, I suck at reading LJ, so I need to, like, actually ask people about their lives. Kinda funny how the internet reconfigures our social mores, isn't it? It's become so that asking people a question like that actually seems like an admission of neglect, rather than - as it would probably have in an age before blogs - a sign of interest. Because if I really cared, I'd be reading your blog, wouldn't I? And yeah, I know that you understand the LJ backlog thing and stuff, so I'm not asking for another assertion of forgiveness or anything; just rambling, here.)

Re: Waffling

[kimboosan.livejournal.com]

I'm transitioning from A to B. I never did very well at being the "successful go-getter" anyway, mostly because I was miserable trying, but I kept at the grindstone because I internalized many social expectations: "someone smart, educated, privileged etc. etc. is supposed to find a good job, make decent money, buy a house, get married etc." So I'm casting those ideas off but it is like trying to hurl a thousand pound anchor off my back, they are so ingrained.

But I KNOW I'm not meant for that kind of life, aside from the fact that I've generally failed at it anyway. I'm getting divorced and focusing on my art (when I'm not dissolved in a puddle of tears from the stress) and looking for a low-stress "pay the bills" kind of job to cover me while I aspire to my dreams of living a creative life.

My life is incredibly difficult as I make this change, and I'm being battered by bad luck (cars breaking down, money woes, refrigerator problems...ack!) as well as progress (divorce, getting my own room with space to myself, going on a date, therapy).