Doing the tourist thing...

Bought a city guide yesterday, for use from Monday onwards - I'm planning to behave more like a tourist now. ;-)

Going to see the penultimate ep of Farscape now. :-(

2,583 members at Frell Me Dead now. :-)

And it seems like we're not going to change teachers on Monday, after all. Damn.

Gutted, stunned, shell-shocked.

4.21.

"Hi... honey. Guess what I did at work today. I wore a bomb... a nuclear bomb, in a field of flowers... I could get lucky; tomorrow I could have a bigger bomb... I could kill... more people... Maybe they'll be innocent people... Children, maybe."

(John, We're So Screwed part 3, tag scene.)

God, it's time this happened, high time. I've been waiting for this since season two, or at the very least since season three, since they blew up the Command Carrier, accepting hundreds of casualties. In ep 4.20, the acknowledgement that they've turned into terrorists; in this ep, 4.21, an open display of guilt, at last. Thank God, John is not yet dead inside, not completely. We've been aware of the gradual hardening, the gradual deadening of his feelings literally for years now; seen it in his face, in his eyes, in the ease with which he draws Winona and handles ever bigger guns. There were moments - A Constellation of Doubt comes to mind - when it seemed that the only thing he could still feel anything for was Aeryn. Now, finally, we get to see John taking a metaphorical look into the mirror. And he sees there what we have been seeing all this time - that in the last three years he has lost much more than just his home and his mind.
What will he do about it? Is there anything he can do about it? It may be an effect of his extended stay in the Uncharted Territories that he will simply have to accept. At least being aware of it now may enable him to keep some of his humanity, maybe. But he can't go back to who he was, he can't shed his survival instincts (and methods) - it would effectively mean committing suicide, something that I still can't see him doing, especially not in the light of Aeryn's pregnancy. Although... to rid the universe of wormhole knowledge, he just *might*... Yeah, I think he might. But I don't think they will be doing that to us in 4.22.

I feel so grateful. Sure, the season had a fair share of flaws - maybe more than a fair share. But many, many things that bothered me have been resolved, many things that I've been waiting for have been given to us. The resurrection of Harvey - much more believable than his quick dispatch in 4.05; John's guilt finally catching up with him; the whole Earth arc... even small stuff like D'Argo and Chiana finally getting together again... not to mention pure 'fan service' like the revelation of the true name of DK and Braca's first name! (I went 'Braca has a first name?!?!?!' - I was completely shocked. *g*) BTW, Braca totally rocked in this ep...

A side note. About the elevator going sideways... Does anybody agree that the cryptic remark of 'John Headroom' in John Quixote about 'going sideways... just... sideways' was a bit of - admittedly useless, but nevertheless fun - foreshadowing? *g*

I love this show. I love it to bits. I love it so much it hurts.