LiveJournal clients don't love me.
Jun. 14th, 2002 02:09 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hmpfAnd I don't love them, either. First I tried to download two versions of the standard LiveJournal client for Windows, and the download was aborted repeatedly, until I gave up. Then I tried to download LochJournal instead, 'cause Kadira told me she used it as well, and the download worked fine. But alas, the program crashes every time I try to upload an entry. So for now, I'm back to writing online. Well, we're about to get a flatrate, so it won't matter anymore, soon, whether I write offline or online.
Anyway. I remembered what I meant to write yesterday. It was this:
Something's seriously wrong with my priorities. I have a nice craft I studied for three and a half years; I have two really nice study subjects; one should think I have more than enough worthwhile areas to potentially excel in. And yet, yesterday it occurred to me that my greatest ambition at the moment is to become a really, really good fanfic writer. Sheesh, talk about useless ambitions. Why couldn't I rather be ambitious about making jewellery or about becoming a good archaeologist?
(Self analysis unit kicking in) I'm ambitious about writing good fanfic because I probably feel that that is a goal that I can attain. It won't be *easy*, but it seems manageable. I want to make great jewellery and become a good archaeologist, too, but somehow, these goals don't seem so attainable. So, I'm afraid of failure in the more 'useful' areas of my life I might concentrate on, and therefore I transfer all my ambition to an area that seems relatively safe and easy. (Self analysis unit shutting off)
Gee, that was easy. Now what do I do about that?
***
So, what else to tell about my life today? Saw a nice movie yesterday with one of new roommates (Elling - catch it if you like slightly strange movies about slightly strange people), then spent way too much time online afterwards, which resulted in my sleeping through half the day today. When I finally got out of bed, I went to an expo about the celts with a few fellow students, then went to a café with them. Unfortunately, we were two hours late for breakfast... breakfast being served until 3 p.m. in that particular café... *g*
Had a drink with my former roommate in the evening, which was unexpectedly nice. Got invited to her birthday party as well, which was also unexpected. I had moved out with the distinct impression that she was glad to be rid of me. However, it seems that maybe that was just a result of her having a really bad time with her then-boyfriend.
So, got home at about nine in the evening, slightly tipsy (beer on an empty stomach is *not* really a good idea, although it *does* make an otherwise boring walk to the station a lot more exciting), and did some laundry and made a great lasagna (a feat I was complimented for nicely by one of my roommates who seems to like my cooking). And now I'm just about ready to go to bed, and dream nice Farscape dreams. ;-)
Anyway. I remembered what I meant to write yesterday. It was this:
Something's seriously wrong with my priorities. I have a nice craft I studied for three and a half years; I have two really nice study subjects; one should think I have more than enough worthwhile areas to potentially excel in. And yet, yesterday it occurred to me that my greatest ambition at the moment is to become a really, really good fanfic writer. Sheesh, talk about useless ambitions. Why couldn't I rather be ambitious about making jewellery or about becoming a good archaeologist?
(Self analysis unit kicking in) I'm ambitious about writing good fanfic because I probably feel that that is a goal that I can attain. It won't be *easy*, but it seems manageable. I want to make great jewellery and become a good archaeologist, too, but somehow, these goals don't seem so attainable. So, I'm afraid of failure in the more 'useful' areas of my life I might concentrate on, and therefore I transfer all my ambition to an area that seems relatively safe and easy. (Self analysis unit shutting off)
Gee, that was easy. Now what do I do about that?
***
So, what else to tell about my life today? Saw a nice movie yesterday with one of new roommates (Elling - catch it if you like slightly strange movies about slightly strange people), then spent way too much time online afterwards, which resulted in my sleeping through half the day today. When I finally got out of bed, I went to an expo about the celts with a few fellow students, then went to a café with them. Unfortunately, we were two hours late for breakfast... breakfast being served until 3 p.m. in that particular café... *g*
Had a drink with my former roommate in the evening, which was unexpectedly nice. Got invited to her birthday party as well, which was also unexpected. I had moved out with the distinct impression that she was glad to be rid of me. However, it seems that maybe that was just a result of her having a really bad time with her then-boyfriend.
So, got home at about nine in the evening, slightly tipsy (beer on an empty stomach is *not* really a good idea, although it *does* make an otherwise boring walk to the station a lot more exciting), and did some laundry and made a great lasagna (a feat I was complimented for nicely by one of my roommates who seems to like my cooking). And now I'm just about ready to go to bed, and dream nice Farscape dreams. ;-)
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no subject
Date: 2002-06-16 09:16 am (UTC)Very interesting self-analysis, by the way. And it makes sense, somehow. The fear for failure can do strange things to us.
Gee, that was easy. Now what do I do about that?
Good question. If you find an answer, tell me about it, yes? I have the same problem when it comes to my original writing vs. fanfiction ...