Okay, I want to give up. I really, really, *really* want to give up.

Tomorrow is absolutely the last day I can spend on that Ph.D. thing. And the cover letter. And the C.V. And everything. And I still don't have the first fucking clue how to do it. I wrote less than one sentence today on the proposal, and haven't even *begun* the cover letter.

I'm already two days over the limit I had set myself. Saturday is absolutely the last day I can send this stuff if I want it to have even the slightest chance of arriving before the deadline.

I still haven't spent one minute preparing for the interview coming up next Wednesday. And you could say that that interview is orders of magnitude more important than that stupid uni job, because, unlike with that uni job, I actually *have a chance there*. Because it's an actual *job interview*, not a half-assed Ph.D. proposal for very remote chance at a job that, let's face it, four dozen people with way more academic cred than me will also apply for. I should be working on *that*, I should be preparing for that interview, not stare entire days at a blank screen to try and get inspired for a proposal I can't possibly finish in the time left anyway.

Dammit. I wasted three entire weeks on this. I could have applied for six, maybe even nine other jobs in that time. I could be more than halfway to my statistically likely next job interview! (It's currently roughly one interview per fifteen applications or so. Statistically speaking.)

**

It's just... I really *would* have liked a shot at doing a Ph.D. Deep down, I am kind of in love with Academia. I just can't afford to prolong my long, unhappy affair with her - without her finally starting to pay me for it, that is. Somebody give me money to do academic work, though, and I'm *so* there...

Good stuff...

on Climate Progress today:

An exceptional ABC News story

And, from the dread "worse than expected" files...

And here's some older articles that are also very useful:

A summary of some of the most important scientific results from 2010

And a plan for what to do to avert the worst case scenario

For more, check out the links in the right column of that blog - there's a number of very good posts under the "Most Popular" and "Climate Science" headings there. I know a lot of people don't like the guy's rhetoric, but you won't find a more concise and comprehensive overview of the situation anywhere else, I'd wager.

You may wonder why the hell you should read this depressing stuff. I mean, I'm the first person to admit that *I* haven't found any effective way to act on my knowledge yet; so why burden yourself so unnecessarily with those grisly details?

Well, a comment on the first story I linked to just answered that for me (again): accepting that this is real is a process; it's painful and it takes time. We won't be able to even think about effective action, collectively, before a whole lot of people have been through that process. Awareness and acceptance of reality aren't action - but they're the necessary first steps towards action.

So the best thing you can do, for now, may be gaining that awareness, and spreading it. Yes, it will hurt. It may make your life feel suddenly pointless; there is that risk. I've been through that, too. But if you truly love anything about life, you may discover a will to fight. Even if that will to fight will not immediately find an effective outlet, it will mean that we're one step closer to reaching that critical mass of people that may, one day soon, make a difference.

Get your mind in gear.