Keeping some kind of record of my emotional state after my second big fandom catastrophe...

[hmpf]

Still pissed at LOM. Fighting hard to keep at least some of my love for the show alive by furiously writing fix-it fic. Which, amazingly, is going very well - it's like my frustration's a speed booster for my writing. I suppose a need to 'fix' something always has been one of the strongest motivations for writing fanfic. (I'm writing a very bitter Maya right now; seems all my bitterness has ended up in her. Which kind of makes sense, because she's always been the character through whom I channel my emotions for Sam, only earlier, it used to be all kinds of tenderness.)

Maybe I'm going to end up writing *all* the alternative non-stupid endings I can think of... *g* LOM still makes marvellous fic material, and I can probably learn to love my own versions of it. I've moved permanently to alternate realities in other fandoms... (Heh... all I need to do is jump from the canon building, and I'll be in my preferred version of fanon... forever...) It's just such a shame I can't love the original, at the moment. Nor any fic which affirms the ending, which basically makes 99% of all fic written post 2.08 unreadable for me.

I'm waiting eagerly for more fic from the disappointed minority. *g*

Going to the ep 8 thread at the RA still pisses me off, although I know it's unfair and stupid and arrogant of me to get angry at people for enjoying the ending. And since I'm wise enouogh to know that it's unfair, stupid and arrogant of me, I'm trying to keep my interaction with the RA to a minimum, for the time being. (Can't *quite* keep away from it; the obsession's still alive, even if the love isn't.)

Probably that's also good for my fanfic, as I now channel nearly all of my remaining obsession into that.

Sadly, I'm actually dreading rewatching *any* of the episodes now, because so much that I thought poignant before I knew the ending is now so meaningless and cheap. Also, I miss my burning Sam Tyler love.

**

For anyone new here who may not know what my first big fandom catastrophe was: the cancellation of Farscape in 2002. That hurt like hell; but at least that show didn't essentially kill itself.

Comments

E-mail

[hmpf.livejournal.com]

What is it with you and bizarrely coloured foodstuffs? ;-)

Will e-mail you when I've collected my first batch of questions. The main question's really: Got any experience with patients in a persistent vegetative state?

I basically need to know what a typical day would look like in the 'waking-up phase' of one such making an unlikely recovery. I.e. typical nursing routines, types and frequency of therapy (once he's properly awake... well, actually, he'd probably be transferred to a specialised rehab facility pretty soon for that, wouldn't he?) etc. Loads of little details. Also, would there be a prognosis at some point or would they adopt more of a 'wait and see' approach due to the unpredictability of brain injury recovery?

So many questions... these are really just the tip of the iceberg.

Not sure how many of those questions you can answer; it really all depends on the first, doesn't it?

Re: E-mail

[pink-bagels.livejournal.com]

Actually, I have first hand experience with people in persistent vegetative states due to acquired brain injuries--there have been a few elderly people in the facility who have atrophied to the point of having little else other than eye-movements, and some whose consciousness is debatable. We do have a man in his mid-thirties who, while not in a true vegetative state, has what we call 'automatic movements'--ie: constant tics of him touching his head, swinging his legs, and no real consciousness that can be discerned due to the amount of brain damage he has suffered.

You're my perfect source of information!

[hmpf.livejournal.com]

Will e-mail soon. May take a day or two, as I need to devote a bit of time to Real Life now...